i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
