just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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