i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
