I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I deserve this hangover.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
