She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
