So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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