my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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