Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
