im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
