Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
