I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
