Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize