i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
