i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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