i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
we're so committed to being not committed
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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