Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
