tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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