It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
