Do you still have your period?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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