We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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