I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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