This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
