his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
