so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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