Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize