put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
wow bdsm is so cute
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
