am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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