You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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