Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
