She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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