He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
