Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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