first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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