she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
