my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
