I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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