did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
