He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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