if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
