So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
