so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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