Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize