so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
