I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just gift wrapped bread.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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