Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
