Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
