I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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