She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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