Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
