i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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