I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
