wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
