Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
