She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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