the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Congratulations! We have a period
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