By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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