I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
