New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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