my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
