I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
someone owes me an orgasm
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
