Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
