Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ketchup is God's man juice
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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