Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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