Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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