He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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